About Me • Psychic Diary

My Journal

The Beginnings of My Psychic Journey: First Eight Months

From the movie, City of Angels, "Some things are true regardless if you believe in them or not."

December 2, 2001

In the Autumn months leading up to this date, I had taken a keen interest in Doreen Virtue's books and attended a one-day seminar in Chicago with Doreen entitled "Healing with the Angels". Archangel Michael spoke to Doreen and explained that her mission on this planet was to help awaken lightworkers and keep them from being distracted by fear. Through her guidance and angel psychic Tina Michelle's, I had started to acknowledge the existence of my angels and was now including them in my daily life. When I was alone, I would ask for their help in healing certain areas of my life and manifesting abundance. I had no doubt that I was indeed a lightworker. As a lightworker, I have a divine mission on this earth. But what? Other than a couple of out-of-body experiences, I had never had any visions or psychic experiences. Yet, there was an urgency emerging within me to help mankind.

Around 3 a.m. I was awakened from a deep sleep. I opened my eyes to see an amazing vision. On the right side of my body was a large angel! The angel appeared as a large orb of light which included all the colors of the spectrum. On either side of this orb, were large flapping white feathered wings. The angel flew above me and hovered for only a couple of seconds, before it disappeared and a clairvoyant picture show ran in my mind's eye. As if the movie was composed of black and white sketches, I saw a smiling angel flying above trees and nature. The angel appeared in a female form, but was a very crude sketch and the face appeared as a "happy face"- :). I have read that angels can take any form and they often appear in the most unintimidating way possible, so that they do not frighten the seer. The "picture show" was suddenly over and I looked up to magically see hundreds of these "happy face" angels staring down at me. This was a miracle to me. I had been visited by angels, and my life would never be the same. Angels are real There is no doubt in my mind that God exists.

December 3, 2001

It is early morning- 6 a.m. or so. I am half asleep with my eyes closed, when I feel a touch on my right knee. I dismiss it as a muscle spasm and continue to rest. I feel a touch again and ignore it. The touching continues and I finally open my eyes to find the "happy face" angel at the foot of my bed in a small form (about 10 inches tall). She is wearing a white robe and has white feathered wings. Two days in a row I have received visits from my angels. Incredible. I tell only my mother and a close friend who I trust. This friend has had her own psychic experiences over the years. They seem amazed, but do not doubt my experience. A concern arises- I have so few people I can talk to about this. Most people will think I am having hallucinations. Yet, I know I am perfectly sane and others have written books about their angel visions. Like the other clairvoyants and spiritualists, my future will involve courage. From now on, I will have a reality that many are unwilling to grasp or understand.

December ??,2001

It has become common, before I drift off to sleep, to feel a reassuring touch on the top of my head or a brush against my cheek. I feel that these are my angels letting me know that they are always with me. One night I see a vision in my mind's eye of a hand writing on a piece of paper. Should I write? But what? Then on a regular basis a vibrantly colored (almost cartoonish) vision of a butterfly comes to me at more conscious moments in my sleep. Why do I keep seeing butterflies? Should I be out in nature more? I look up the interpretation and symbolic meaning of the butterfly. It means transformation or metamorphosis. Of course!! Obviously, I am going through a spiritual transformation. Even on a mundane level, my life will never be the same since the visions started.

December 15, 2001

I wake up to see pulsating energy beaming down on me. My whole body is warmed and tingles with the energy that is penetrating it. It feels like my body and soul are being embraced by pure love. The most loving feeling I have ever experienced. It lasts for about 2 minutes then stops. I decide to call it an "angel hug".

December ??, 2001

My ears ring quite frequently and there is a dull ache once and awhile. Occasionally, one ear will go completely deaf for a moment and a "whoosh" sound will echo through my head. This is the sign of the "lightworker". My frequency is being raised. Frequently, I am also beginning to see swirls of a vibrant green and blue when I close my eyes. I bet this is another form of angel communication.

December 29, 2001

I wake up in the middle of the night, then close my eyes to go back to sleep. With my eyes closed, a vision begins to appear. Long feminine fingers on a hand beckon me as if to say "follow me". Suddenly the outline of a beautiful woman with long hair appears for me- just her face. Then I see a man and woman that I can't make out very well walking side by side on a city street. Next, the outline of the beautiful woman comes back and she winks at me. Is a new man coming into my life?

December 30, 2001

Vivid dream of a gypsy fortune teller. She is sitting on a street corner, reading for a customer. I am next in line. When the time comes for my reading, she asks to hold a personal item of mine. I give her my shoe?? She holds my shoe and concentrates, all of sudden she gets a panicked expression on her face and starts loudly giving me some kind of warning that I cannot hear. Then like a flash in front of my face the dream ends and I am awakened suddenly. My eyes open to find a "happy face" angel in a small form standing in front of my face on the pillow.

January 4, 2002

I wake up in the middle of the night and an angel appears. I feel her touch my head and a loud ringing happens within my ears. The angel and the ringing disappear within a short time.

January 5, 2002

Day: While sitting in the living room, I see a blue light flash before my eyes a few feet away. This is an angel light! I can see things during the day now.

Night: Before I drift off to sleep, butterflies appear within my mind's eye followed by loud nature sounds- i.e. crickets and frogs. I was shown several snapshot pictures which I can't recall. However, one does stand out- a chalice. I wake up early morning to see a huge mass of white light beaming down on me. The white light energy infuses my body. An incredible and very memorable vision. As I stare into the light, I feel a very firm touch around my jaw and my head is firmly turned to the right side. Wow! An invisible hand had clutched my jaw.

January 20, 2002

Big night of clairvoyant activity. Fairies come to me! While I am reading in bed, I notice tiny pinkish lights on the pages of my book. Once the light is out, I see small fluttering images when I close my eyes. Not like the slow flapping wings of an angel, but more like dragonfly or butterfly wings. A clairvoyant vision appears in my mind's eye of a bride and groom standing at a church alter saying their vows. Then suddenly, I see a fairy with a long nose sitting on a mushroom. The fairies are communicating with me through my psychic vision, how wonderful. I slip off to sleep and awake awhile later to the strangest thing- I am singing an unfamiliar song in my head and I see rows of fairies in short dresses dancing to my song. How did they get me to sing for them?? Next I see a flash in front of my eyes. I know now that this happens before a strong vision. The vision is me amidst blades of grass. I am tiny- maybe the size of a fairy. Above me a gigantic bumble bee hovers. It becomes obvious that they want me to see things from their perspective. An amazing night. There is no doubt, fairies are real.

January 22, 2002

I awaken to a sweet female voice. It says one word- "wonderful". Could be the voice of a fairie?

January ??, 2002

I notice a "picking" or "suctioning" sensation at times when the fairies are with me. Doreen Virtue mentions in the book, "Healing with Fairies", that fairies often "pick" the negativity out of your aura. She describes the feeling as "suctioning barnacles off the bottom of a boat". Doreen also found the sensation pleasant and relaxing. I cannot say the same. It feels intrusive and causes a bit of itchiness. I tell the fairies to stop, but they do not listen. They seem to be stubborn little things. They know what is good for me, so I should not protest too much. :)

I can see the fairies outside! When I make an effort to look, I can see tiny white lights darting this way and that. I see them in the daylight. They do not appear in the same clarity as when I am laying in bed, but it is wonderful to see them in their natural habitat. When I am reading on the train, I notice tiny pink lights much of the time. I guess they are always around me.

Before I go to sleep, I see a large red worded sign in the hallway outside my bedroom. It is red with white writing, but is too faint for me to read. Now I am getting real signs! LOL. Too bad I could not make out the words.

I am sitting on the floor of my bedroom looking at a book, when suddenly I feel a hand on top of my head. There is no mistake in this feeling. I experience a full caress from the top of my head to the back of my neck. I get the chills shortly after. My body shudders. Who was that?

February 2, 2002

I wake up in the middle of the night to receive a very large "angel hug". It lasts for about 5 minutes!

February ??, 2002

The fairies are causing me to lose some sleep. They come in large swarms around me when I lay down- even for a nap. I can see them with my eyes open or with my eyes closed. The fluttering distracts me and keeps me from falling asleep. I have found that I know when they are around me because they show me colored energy when I close my eyes. They radiate a bright magenta color with a lime green zig zag line running through it. Many times I see their little faces appear without a body. They are laughing or smiling faces- full of fun. I ask them nicely to let me sleep, but they do not listen. How can I control them?? I start becoming worried. I certainly cannot tell many people that fairies are real and that I see them!

February 15, 2002

I visit a friend who I have not seen in a long time. I pray that I am not kept awake by the fairies. Unfortunately, they appear in greater swarms because I am in the country. There are hundreds of them around my bed. I see them landing on my pillow. They are everywhere. I take Tylenol P.M. to help get me through the nights.

February 18, 2002

Kim, one of my new psychic friends, tells me that my chakras are too open and that is why my visions are overwhelming. I work on protecting and grounding myself before I get to sleep. She suggests a meditation where I envision each chakra swirling counter- clockwise seven times. This apparently keeps my clairvoyance in a more manageable state. It seems to work!

February ??, 2002

I can see fairy light emanating from the plants in my home. At different times, I see a magenta glow out of the corner of my eye. I wonder why I only see this light occasionally. Maybe it is a communication like the blue and white angel lights.

The fairies show me black and white clairvoyant "movie type" visions on a frequent basis. (A side note: I have noticed that my clairvoyant visions range from vibrant technicolor to black and white "sketched' pictures.) One of most common fairy pictures is a ring or heart shape made from daisies. I looked up daisies in my book on fairies by Ted Andrews and apparently they are the quintessential fairy flower. I also see trees regularly. They send me nature pictures almost exclusively.

The swirling blue and green light is always with me in my mind's eye. I am not sure if these are angels with me or perhaps my spirit guide. I wish I could understand all these things I see. It can be very frustrating- I see remarkable visions but I can't make heads or tails of them.

While I drift off to sleep, I notice more and more visions of random faces appearing. Are these people I will meet or people that have crossed over?

March ??, 2002

I wake up in the middle of the night to see a face forming by my own. It appears in an outlined form. I see the face of a woman with a bun in her hair. She looks to be middle-aged. This vision startles me and I turn away. What was that? Who was that? I hope she wasn't a ghost. I never want to have to see an earthbound entity.

Amy ( a psychic friend) tells me I most likely saw one of my spirit guides. This thought is comforting to me. She had met my spirit guides in a reading and I do have a male and two females working with me. The strongest energy comes from a guide named Robert. He is the most influential, but has two females helping him out at this time. Boy, I must need a lot of guidance to have three of them !!

March ??, 2002

I have a vision in the black and white "sketched' variety. At least 50 pairs of eyes all staring at me. Just eyes, nothing else. All shapes and sizes -checking me out. This is scary. How many beings from the astral plane are watching me?

March ??, 2002

I awaken in the middle of the night to one of my strong "cartoon like" visions. I see a small moving picture on top of my bed. It is a cowboy on top of a galloping horse. The horse is running with thunderous speed. Suddenly, the picture changes and turns into what first looks like a brown bear. Yet, as I continue to look at the picture I see the bear shape become a St. Bernard dog with its tongue hanging out. The dog is panting. Amazingly clear clairvoyant visions. But my quandary exists- what meaning do these pictures have for me? Are these past life references?

March ??, 2002

One of the most unsettling things just happened to me. I am laying in bed in the morning- not ready to get up yet, but totally awake. I find myself watching the swirls of blue and green light in my mind's eye. I try to open my eyes and I can't. I am flooded with green light and a man's head begins to take form in it. The head spins slowly around as if on an axis. I see a round almost crude face, with a wide nose and thick lips. The back of the head has a thin strip of hair, but he is mostly bald. Then as if the man was taking flight again, I feel a jolt of energy go through me and he is gone. What was that!! I hope it was friendly, because it was in my angelic green light.

March ??, 2002

I have started having some dreams about UFOs. I have been reading about "starseeds", so it may just be power of suggestion. The most recent dream is so realistic that it makes me wonder if it was a dream or in fact one of my visions. I see a small spaceship in my room beaming a white light down on me, then the ship disappears. I can almost feel the light blinding me. Not sure what to think.

March ??, 2002

An amazing thing has happened. I am in the bright light of the guest bedroom of my mom's house and I am staring at the ceiling before I go to sleep. I start seeing textured patterns appearing on the ceiling. These patterns are moving. In a short time, the outlines of angels appear with flapping wings. I can see them with the light on and in a fully awake state! I always call on Archangel Michael and his Band of Mercy to watch over me while I sleep. I call upon the angels and they are there with me. I am so comforted at this thought.

April 10, 2002

I close my eyes to fall back to sleep after awakening in the middle of the night. Right away, clairvoyant visions flash in my mind's eye. First, I see the outline of a large wasp in flight. Within moments the picture changes and I see a group of people running toward me. The people look surprisingly like Keith Haring's artwork- very simple drawings of people in a cartoon form with no faces or clothing. What do these visions mean? Is the wasp a nature vision from the fairies?

April 19, 2002

As I am ready to drift off to sleep, I change positions in my bed. I am startled by a bright green light flying right into my eyes. It is the size of a firefly, but I know it is a fairy. They are always coming up with new ways to appear for me!

April 20, 2002

I wake up in the middle of the night to see some sort of design in front of my face. It is composed of a white light formed into different geometric shapes that keep moving and transforming. This lasts for almost 5 minutes!

May 10, 2002

I turn my lights off to go to sleep and bright green "blobs" of color start to form in my dark bedroom. They hover in the air, but I am not afraid. My intuition tells me they are most likely from the fairies, but may be angelic, as well. This goes on for quite some time until I close my eyes and drift off.

May ??, 2002

I have a couple of incomplete visions and suspect that some fear is getting in the way of my clairvoyance. I wake up in the middle of the night and see the outline of a person forming on the side of my bed, because of my surprise and some fear I notice the figure disappears before it is fully formed.

I close my eyes and see a psychic burst of light go off ready to show me a vision, but it indistinguishable and hazy. It may be that I need to clear my chakras more regularly to help with the clarity of the visions.

The swirls of blue and green that appear and move when I close my eyes are stronger than ever. The color is extremely vivid and the swirling motion is relaxing. This phenomena is still a mystery to me.

Frequently, I am bombarded with faces when I close my eyes at night. These faces are male and female and no one I know. From what I have been told, these visions most likely mean that I have ability as a medium. Truthfully, I do not want to be a medium. I will leave that to John Edwards and James Van Pragh, thank you very much!

May 20, 2002

I visit a local psychic school to sign up for a Psychic Meditation class to help me ground myself. While I am at the school, I get a brief reading from three clairvoyant students. A very interesting thing happens when they are describing their visions- little blue lights (almost sparks) go off above their heads. I have never seen this happen before. It happens continually during the reading and I mention it to them. They are not sure what it is. Maybe it is psychic energy that I am seeing.

June ??, 2002

I have the most amazing vision! I open my eyes in the middle of the night and see of swirl of white energy in front of me. The energy quickly turns into the most beautiful white light butterfly! It is not vibrantly colored like in the past, but its realism is extraordinary. It possess' designs on its wings and it moves as if a real butterfly is visiting me. My vision lasts for a good 5 minutes as I watch the butterfly with awe. Some of the visions are just stunning.

I wake up to a strong vision that is reminiscent of past "characters". This vision moves quickly and is in full color- a cartoon drawing. A matador is holding out a red flag as a bull charges at it. In some of the other visions, I saw a cowboy and a can can dancer. Are these past lives or are they simply symbols for something else? Maybe I am seeing someone else's experiences.

June 24, 2002

As I drift off to sleep, I see a very clear "#1" flash in my mind's eye. Now I am seeing numbers-?? It can be very frustrating not knowing the significance of so many of my visions!

In my mind's eye, I see a rushing of energy. On a background that looks like outer space, I see white lines of energy racing through the universe- like flames from a rocket.

Summer 2002

I woke up in the middle of the night to see my room filled with visions of flying white doves. Truly beautiful!